George came back into my life, loved me with no limits, taught me about real expansive love and then 3 years ago this afternoon was gone – in body. We lived together for three years and I have lived alone for three years. I am better without George than I was before George. I was the one who really needed saving. Funny…we both thought so.

The past three years have been three years that I never would have chosen. But I had no choice. I have finally come to a place of deep gratitude and mostly peace and surrender.

When George actually died his energy, his soul entered my body – literally in a whosh – and I will carry him forward always.

I think it’s time for this blog – this way of telling this story – to come to an end. I think I will miss it terribly sometimes. I may do something with it…or maybe not. So far I have never gone back and read any of it.

I am so incredibly grateful to have had this medium and for all who have kept me company along the way. I have always known that I am not really alone, which was one of the big reasons I have written. But I still do miss that other world guy I went to sleep with and woke up with  for too short a time. It’s not the same – but it never really is…

George stood behind me and held me while we sang Moment of Surrender together in Moncton in 2011…the U2 song he handed off to me when he died – before he died really. I remember the electricity we felt in this moment – and I do believe it was part of the path – a foreshadowing.

Time for the full moment of surrender…I love you Georgie forever and always…and yes I do now really understand it all in such a deep profound way…

I’ve been in every black hole
At the alter of a Dark star
My body’s now a begging bowl
That’s begging to get back
Begging to get back
To my heart
To the rhythm of my soul
To the rhythm of my consciousness
To the rhythm of yes
To be released from control

I love you so so much. And yes I can believe it. Thank you.

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